Lobster

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Lobster

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 40907
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Lobster : BOO.

Lobster's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 8:07am<b>Disobey</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 7:40pm<b>HaonSnevets</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:37pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:08pm<b>itzdj</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 10:19pm<b>CassidyAnne</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 9:59pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:11pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:55am<b>Njord09</b> - the 07/31/2009 at 3:51pm<b>redxapplexoxo</b> - the 07/24/2009 at 5:03pm<b>altna</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 12:38pm<b>lizarddx0x0</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 2:58pm<b>annoyedwife5</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 2:44pm<b>pyromaniac239</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 12:21pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 2:01am<b>donnieandalicia</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 11:43pm<b>jmud</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 8:04pm<b>Holybatman</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 1:44am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:07pm

Lobster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Lobster's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

by LXA429 / 03/12/2010 at 2:35am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I had a strong feeling that someone was watching me as I was undressing to get ready for bed. I conspicuously moved to the door and threw it open to find my step-brother clearly spying on me. We are the same age, live in the same house three weeks a month and in the same English class. FML

by meowtickmeow / 03/11/2010 at 8:18pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

by ShowOff / 03/11/2010 at 3:13am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my water bottle had leaked and spilled water all over my backpack, ruining my notebooks, soaking my schoolbooks, and destroying my midterm portfolio. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

by watersport / 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I finally jumped high enough to dunk on the ten foot rim. I caught my tooth on the net and nearly pulled my tooth out. FML

by supermanxs1 / 03/09/2010 at 10:32am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I had to take a test that's required to pass the class. The test administor told us that those of us who were wearing hoodies would have to take them off. I would have taken mine off, but I was only wearing a bra underneath. There's no other days I can reschedule the test. FML

by wearashirt / 12/04/2009 at 2:55am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hired a professional makeup artist to apply my makeup for a wedding. After paying her $500 for the excellent job she does, and getting dressed, I grabbed the invitation to check out the address, and it said the wedding was on December 2. Today is December 3. FML

by DidntCheckTheCalendar / 12/03/2009 at 5:29pm / Kuwait / Money

Today, I went to my best friend's wedding. All my friends and their boyfriends were seated at one table, while I, as the only single girl in the group, was put on a table with all the other single people. They were all over forty years older than me. I feel like I have seen my future. FML

by singlegirl / 11/27/2009 at 1:16pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

by fartlover / 11/27/2009 at 12:10am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

Today, I went out to lunch with a girl I like and her best friend. We had a good time, even talked for a few hours at the restaurant, but after we left, she stopped talking to me. Her friend told her that I kept staring at her chest; I was trying to see what her pendant was. FML

by LonelyLoner / 11/26/2009 at 1:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

by disney / 11/26/2009 at 11:30am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me then "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty". FML

by amy1023 / 11/26/2009 at 5:18am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2009 at 12:15am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation