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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Lobster

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Lobster
  • Town/Country : Chicago, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 27939
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Lobster : BOO.

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Lobster's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

#9016591 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (2975) - you deserved it (17728)

On 03/12/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by LXA429 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a strong feeling that someone was watching me as I was undressing to get ready for bed. I conspicuously moved to the door and threw it open to find my step-brother clearly spying on me. We are the same age, live in the same house three weeks a month and in the same English class. FML

#9006202 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (19300) - you deserved it (1416)

On 03/11/2010 at 8:18pm - misc - by meowtickmeow - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

#8991320 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (6047) - you deserved it (31661)

On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I discovered my water bottle had leaked and spilled water all over my backpack, ruining my notebooks, soaking my schoolbooks, and destroying my midterm portfolio. FML

#8970857 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (17125) - you deserved it (3491)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

#8972431 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (21284) - you deserved it (2649)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by watersport (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got up in church to go to the bathroom. I finished and came back to my seat, only to find that all my stuff was gone, including my wallet, iPod touch, and blackberry. I was just robbed in a church. FML

#8948226 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (21775) - you deserved it (12352)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:14pm - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, I finally jumped high enough to dunk on the ten foot rim. I caught my tooth on the net and nearly pulled my tooth out. FML

#8943287 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (16513) - you deserved it (4098)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:32am - health - by supermanxs1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take a test that's required to pass the class. The test administor told us that those of us who were wearing hoodies would have to take them off. I would have taken mine off, but I was only wearing a bra underneath. There's no other days I can reschedule the test. FML

#6595557 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (23328) - you deserved it (9194)

On 12/04/2009 at 2:55am - misc - by wearashirt (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I hired a professional makeup artist to apply my makeup for a wedding. After paying her $500 for the excellent job she does, and getting dressed, I grabbed the invitation to check out the address, and it said the wedding was on December 2. Today is December 3. FML

#6586443 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (8141) - you deserved it (38191)

On 12/03/2009 at 5:29pm - money - by DidntCheckTheCalendar (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I went to my best friend's wedding. All my friends and their boyfriends were seated at one table, while I, as the only single girl in the group, was put on a table with all the other single people. They were all over forty years older than me. I feel like I have seen my future. FML

#6478242 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (1791)

On 11/27/2009 at 1:16pm - love - by singlegirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

#6472214 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (21373) - you deserved it (5892)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

#6463128 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (20043) - you deserved it (13149)

On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went out to lunch with a girl I like and her best friend. We had a good time, even talked for a few hours at the restaurant, but after we left, she stopped talking to me. Her friend told her that I kept staring at her chest; I was trying to see what her pendant was. FML

#6462459 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (7085) - you deserved it (22921)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by LonelyLoner (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

#6461124 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (7050) - you deserved it (26991)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by disney - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me then "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty". FML

#6459212 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (23581) - you deserved it (5682)

On 11/26/2009 at 5:18am - love - by amy1023 (woman) - United States (New York)