About Llama_Face89 : KISS ME I'M IRISH!
Let's see.. My names Liam. Canadian and proud to be so!
Diehard Montreal Canadiens fan since I was a child and living just north of Boston. Makes hockey season interesting. >:)
Nos bras meurtris vous tendent le flambeau, à vous toujours de le porter bien haut.
Anything else I suppose you'll have to ask.
Also a giant nerd. Yea, I roll dice. Problem?
My Nissan will walk your Honda.
About Llama_Face89 : KISS ME I'M IRISH!
Llama_Face89's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Llama_Face89's favorite FMLs
Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm / United Kingdom (Derry) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML
by Dick the Greater / 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/23/2013 at 2:15am / United States (California) / Work
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML
by criminal tit offender / 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML
by Awkward / 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm / United States / Work
Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML
by pardon my English :$ / 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm / France / Work
Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML
by whyeventry? / 08/02/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML
by vmml97 / 08/01/2013 at 12:32am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 3:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 4:19am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by accountnamevalid / 07/21/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML
by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health
by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…