Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 April 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5148
  • Number of comments : 1194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Llama_Face89 : KISS ME I'M IRISH!
Let's see.. My names Liam. Canadian and proud to be so!

Diehard Montreal Canadiens fan since I was a child and living just north of Boston. Makes hockey season interesting. >:)

Nos bras meurtris vous tendent le flambeau, à vous toujours de le porter bien haut.

Anything else I suppose you'll have to ask.

Also a giant nerd. Yea, I roll dice. Problem?

My Nissan will walk your Honda.

Llama_Face89's page activity

Visits<b>MzZombicidal</b> - yesterday at 11:12pm<b>Lejuan_James</b> - yesterday at 6:58pm<b>RawrPancaked</b> - yesterday at 2:45pm<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 9:24pm<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 2:43pm<b>bloo_isanonymous</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 2:04am<b>Megatron_Griffin</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 10:38pm<b>sam882</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 8:47pm<b>clapdatassidy</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 11:14pm<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 2:30pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:22pm<b>kaotic_angel88</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 11:16am<b>camogirl2249</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 3:37pm<b>RusticChick</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 6:52am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 5:32pm<b>dieana</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 4:23pm<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 4:03pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 10:47am

Fucked!<b>MzZombicidal</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Megatron_Griffin</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 4:39am<b>sam882</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 2:47am<b>kaotic_angel88</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 5:17pm<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 10:03pm<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 5:52am<b>juicy_extasy</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 8:32pm<b>JustinJK</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 5:13pm<b>kandysnow</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 9:28am<b>CaityOlivia94</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 7:19am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:02pm<b>MiLM</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:58pm<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 2:17pm<b>hipposteve</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 11:13pm<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 5:54pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 6:28pm<b>Shamandalie89</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:16pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 3:01pm

Llama_Face89's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Llama_Face89's badges

Llama_Face89's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said "But seriously... no." FML


I agree, your life sucks (25307) - you deserved it (1675)

On 10/31/2015 at 3:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sexting my boss. I realised that I wasn't texting my boyfriend after I'd sent 2 nudes, and received many sexually provocative responses. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23353) - you deserved it (16276)

On 10/17/2015 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Peter Steele love (woman) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML


I agree, your life sucks (23825) - you deserved it (2725)

On 09/30/2015 at 9:13am - misc - by Nick Pat (man) -

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25002) - you deserved it (6333)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I left my dog in my car for 5 minutes while I ran into a store. The car was running so he was fine, the thing that wasn't so fine is that when I walked out my car wasn't there. My dog somehow moved my car into the middle of a intersection, almost causing an accident. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21137) - you deserved it (17857)

On 06/23/2015 at 4:00pm - animals - by ej6901 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35224) - you deserved it (4895)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roommate wants to kick me out because I can't afford to pay my share of the rent this month. I couldn't afford to, because I had to pay for repairs to my car after my roommate got drunk, stole my keys, and crashed it into a street light. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38216) - you deserved it (2872)

On 04/15/2015 at 10:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML


I agree, your life sucks (54881) - you deserved it (7427)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML


I agree, your life sucks (59989) - you deserved it (7147)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45645) - you deserved it (6603)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49769) - you deserved it (5492)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML


I agree, your life sucks (44534) - you deserved it (7113)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40069) - you deserved it (3074)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: