Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Lizza330

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

Lizza330

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5577
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Lizza330 : Hi

Lizza330's page activity

Visits<b>Gift_of_humor</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 9:26am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:44am<b>LiveLifeAllDay</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 10:45am<b>hard_candy</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:44am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 7:46am<b>gurbism</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Vball6</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 10:16am<b>omgpp</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 6:24am<b>mrnipples7311</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:47am<b>getrekt</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:24am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 7:17am<b>ChildRepellent</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 2:37am<b>PrincessBambii</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 12:28am<b>SwedishMuffins</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 2:07am<b>Jannis</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 4:21am<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 11:40pm<b>AwkwardStalker</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 1:14am<b>TahoeFMler</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 9:54am

Lizza330's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Lizza330's badges

Lizza330's favorite FMLs

Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though, with my cat. FML

#18145611
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24396) - you deserved it (9350)

On 11/03/2011 at 6:56am - animals - by Nicole557 (woman) - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML

#18100684
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25666) - you deserved it (5272)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:51am - animals - by Fought The Law - United States (Georgia)

Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML

#18072512
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36150) - you deserved it (5662)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML

#18047257
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11265) - you deserved it (38101)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32946) - you deserved it (6436)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26651) - you deserved it (3130)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

#17960494
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34947) - you deserved it (2501)

On 10/11/2011 at 4:05pm - health - by top dog! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10324) - you deserved it (34311)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33592) - you deserved it (2955)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (8251)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25914) - you deserved it (4220)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28048) - you deserved it (11488)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML

#17696779
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22449) - you deserved it (2834)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm - misc - by WishIWasAWriter (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27070) - you deserved it (9282)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: