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Lizza330

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Lizza330
  • Town/Country : Narnia, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3769
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Lizza330 : Hi

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Lizza330's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26999) - you deserved it (2142)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24032) - you deserved it (6478)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23255) - you deserved it (3963)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26686) - you deserved it (11094)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML

#17696779
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you deserved it (2688)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm - misc - by WishIWasAWriter (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22043) - you deserved it (7129)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34804) - you deserved it (2499)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31367) - you deserved it (3516)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29471) - you deserved it (2849)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

#17627394
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31012) - you deserved it (4994)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML

#17565538
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15568) - you deserved it (13684)

On 08/24/2011 at 2:32am - misc - by Trimacle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in algebra, I took out my notebook. My Chinese teacher was so impressed with my "Chinese" writings on the cover that I'm now her "favorite student". Those "Chinese" symbols are actually Japanese, but I wanted someone to like me so badly that I didn't correct her. FML

#17530049
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24001) - you deserved it (4814)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:40pm - misc - by Miguel - United States

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

#17525385
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26366) - you deserved it (2339)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by anonymous22kittylicklick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me while we were at the pool. He seemed shocked that I wasn't crying. A slim girl in a bikini walked past and said, "Don't worry, fat people are used to it." FML

#17480475
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39235) - you deserved it (4609)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30021) - you deserved it (8708)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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