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Lizpatty's favorite FMLs
Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML
by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by confusedandnowsingle / 06/28/2013 at 8:23am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Love
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/21/2013 at 3:32am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/15/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Love
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML
by kindergarten teacher / 03/23/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison / 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Health
Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML
by Lesser / 02/17/2013 at 3:02am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by laststand11 / 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by ughh / 11/22/2011 at 8:22am / United States / Health
by cc / 10/10/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Montana) / Money
by Username / 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm / United States / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…