Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LizetteBerenice

Online | Search for a member

LizetteBerenice

22Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2040
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

LizetteBerenice's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Al3xv3l92</b> - 7 hours ago<b>HelloMatey</b> - 7 hours ago<b>ILikeBigButts_</b> - 7 hours ago<b>sexymomo1234</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Epic_Times</b> - 8 hours ago<b>alcalaboy5</b> - 9 hours ago<b>annihil8or</b> - 11 hours ago<b>martini47</b> - 11 hours ago<b>oobergoober89</b> - 11 hours ago<b>SirMiniHobbit</b> - 11 hours ago<b>xwingtwo</b> - 12 hours ago<b>thevelociraptor</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Isak366</b> - 14 hours ago<b>krakalacka</b> - 15 hours ago<b>gabythatcher</b> - 15 hours ago<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Kruitdamp</b> - 16 hours ago

Liked!<b>martini47</b> - 5 hours ago<b>danielhartlesss</b> - 17 hours ago<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 8:47pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 6:02am<b>lord_meloetta</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 5:24am<b>jedijosh1</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 5:21am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 4:22am<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 3:38am<b>TOLL</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 2:29am<b>connor227448</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:09am<b>Ironmayhem</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:45pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:16pm<b>Asdruben22</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 10:03pm<b>brandoneyez1</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 8:27pm<b>thinblue32</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 7:46pm<b>lild343</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 7:35pm<b>kunal222</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 7:19pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:56pm

LizetteBerenice's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of LizetteBerenice's badges

LizetteBerenice's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in bed staring at two red lights coming from my DVD player. They reminded me of the terminator movies, and I had to unplug it. I'm 23 years old and scared of The Terminator. FML

#21080429
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34254) - you deserved it (8304)

On 03/07/2014 at 10:41am - misc - by scaredypants123 - United States

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36971) - you deserved it (14758)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51015) - you deserved it (6215)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41547) - you deserved it (4483)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

#21075933
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43664) - you deserved it (6745)

On 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm - money - by Ms. Piggy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25345) - you deserved it (55673)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, during class our teacher asked us, "Who is Uncle Sam?" A girl answered, "He's the guy who founded KFC, right?" I'm in an AP class and have to put up with these morons constantly. FML

#21071374
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41325) - you deserved it (4078)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44011) - you deserved it (5596)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41968) - you deserved it (3941)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I went to pick up my goddaughter while her mother went to work. She was being fussy, and I was surprised when she was quiet in the car; I just figured she'd fallen asleep. I got to my house and realized I'd never put her in my car, she was still sitting in my friend's driveway. FML

#21062639
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19052) - you deserved it (44116)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:44pm - kids - by lyss - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46472) - you deserved it (6567)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was waiting in line at a clothes store when someone cut in in front of me, and the gentlemen in front of me. I shouted, "Hey! Queue starts back here!". He responded by pointing out the "gentlemen" in front was actually a very realistic mannequin. FML

#21056589
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34430) - you deserved it (15377)

On 02/10/2014 at 7:45pm - misc - by QueueJumper (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41815) - you deserved it (5702)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52553) - you deserved it (18574)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: