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LizetteBerenice

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LizetteBerenice

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 699
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LizetteBerenice's page activity

Visits<b>PaulCooper</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 5:37pm<b>xavior4690</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:53pm<b>hanamichi</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:57pm<b>sprinkle90</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:23pm<b>shelby_marie1102</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:07pm<b>soccer8goalie</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 9:36am<b>vlader08</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:52am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:10pm<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 1:38am<b>Mistress420xX</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:08pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 5:51pm<b>kiem84</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 4:58pm<b>y0utu13er</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 4:19pm<b>Claytonioo</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:41pm<b>Loser97217</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:10pm<b>altpokey</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:01pm<b>afman89</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:45pm<b>SirMiniHobbit</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:23pm

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LizetteBerenice's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55847) - you deserved it (8982)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

#21031501
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46392) - you deserved it (6860)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

#21030290
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37140) - you deserved it (19886)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I hacked into my best friend's Facebook account to message my mother about organizing a surprise party for myself for my 21st. She ignored the message for two days before replying, "I don't think so. No one would really show up and I think that would hurt her feelings." FML

#21029577
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43811) - you deserved it (18431)

On 01/16/2014 at 6:45am - misc - by nolovefor21 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML

#21028727
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49523) - you deserved it (8237)

On 01/15/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44653) - you deserved it (4345)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

#21027337
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45579) - you deserved it (7095)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by rholt (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

#21027083
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45746) - you deserved it (5378)

On 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm - misc - by ShelterForTheHomless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53269) - you deserved it (32375)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31717) - you deserved it (39321)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55999) - you deserved it (5629)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45694) - you deserved it (4916)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, we were playing charades at school. My word was "head", so I pointed to my face. Nobody on my team got it. But they did guess, "Ugly?!" FML

#21024059
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41321) - you deserved it (4431)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by kyyle - United States (Illinois)

Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML

#21022498
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41788) - you deserved it (4130)

On 01/09/2014 at 2:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

#21022453
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57302) - you deserved it (6943)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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