Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LizetteBerenice

Offline (yesterday at 6:27pm) | Search for a member

LizetteBerenice

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 737
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

LizetteBerenice's page activity

Visits<b>heffastera</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 5:02pm<b>gonzo209</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 3:16pm<b>ThatSweaterGuy</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:47am<b>buzzbomb15</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:50pm<b>benjamn</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 12:14am<b>Cwilson3388</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 11:17pm<b>cohster90</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 11:04pm<b>lillirose10490</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 8:39pm<b>sweetballs1</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 5:57pm<b>boredtillZzz</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 9:37am<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 9:07am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 6:35am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:30am<b>jonny24</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:52am<b>kingofswedes</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:08am<b>okcnation</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 2:46am<b>TomPusslicker</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 1:49am<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 1:03am

Liked!<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 12:35pm<b>zarosian</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 12:49am

LizetteBerenice's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of LizetteBerenice's badges

LizetteBerenice's favorite FMLs

Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. 5ML

#21038584
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38947) - you deserved it (21163)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

#21037822
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41660) - you deserved it (4555)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

#21036979
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42720) - you deserved it (14656)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by MarBlu - United States

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

#21035414
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42391) - you deserved it (5698)

On 01/21/2014 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

#21035197
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38659) - you deserved it (3807)

On 01/21/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland

Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML

#21034785
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46264) - you deserved it (5018)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:07am - kids - by sickmom (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

#21034458
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26772) - you deserved it (41234)

On 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm - kids - by Ginger_Gawd - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55917) - you deserved it (8992)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

#21031501
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46414) - you deserved it (6861)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

#21030290
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37171) - you deserved it (19892)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I hacked into my best friend's Facebook account to message my mother about organizing a surprise party for myself for my 21st. She ignored the message for two days before replying, "I don't think so. No one would really show up and I think that would hurt her feelings." FML

#21029577
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43826) - you deserved it (18442)

On 01/16/2014 at 6:45am - misc - by nolovefor21 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML

#21028727
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49550) - you deserved it (8240)

On 01/15/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44671) - you deserved it (4346)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

#21027337
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45599) - you deserved it (7095)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by rholt (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

#21027083
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45768) - you deserved it (5379)

On 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm - misc - by ShelterForTheHomless (woman) - United States (California)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: