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Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9917) - you deserved it (28370)
On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27267) - you deserved it (12351)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States
Today, I discovered that not only is my live-in mother in law a fan of Lady Gaga, she dances around the house naked to fully embrace the music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (2769)
On 04/08/2011 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31824) - you deserved it (7657)
On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States
Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27123) - you deserved it (3851)
On 03/06/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45147) - you deserved it (5736)
On 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by mom21 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40007) - you deserved it (2911)
On 02/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8152) - you deserved it (29769)
On 01/23/2011 at 12:43am - money - by quarterback (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21372) - you deserved it (4761)
On 01/22/2011 at 12:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of his morning dump because it was heart-shaped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27067) - you deserved it (5123) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was riding in my friend's car. We passed by a group of cute guys standing by the curb with their skateboards so we slowed down to whistle at them. We then noticed the ambulance taking their friend away on a stretcher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5733) - you deserved it (22478)
On 12/26/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46787) - you deserved it (3239)
On 12/26/2010 at 3:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29423) - you deserved it (1747)
On 12/10/2010 at 11:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8910) - you deserved it (19367)
On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States
Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32873) - you deserved it (5737)
On 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm - misc - by gingerninja (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Monday 20 May 2013
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