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LizetteBerenice

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LizetteBerenice

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 688
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LizetteBerenice's page activity

Visits<b>PaulCooper</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 5:37pm<b>xavior4690</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:53pm<b>hanamichi</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:57pm<b>sprinkle90</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:23pm<b>shelby_marie1102</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:07pm<b>soccer8goalie</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 9:36am<b>vlader08</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:52am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:10pm<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 1:38am<b>Mistress420xX</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:08pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 5:51pm<b>kiem84</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 4:58pm<b>y0utu13er</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 4:19pm<b>Claytonioo</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:41pm<b>Loser97217</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:10pm<b>altpokey</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:01pm<b>afman89</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:45pm<b>SirMiniHobbit</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:23pm

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LizetteBerenice's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40966) - you deserved it (8319)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46982) - you deserved it (4009)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21167) - you deserved it (56007)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41373) - you deserved it (12483)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after working 12 hours, my scooter broke down 2 miles from home. I had to walk myself and my scooter home all uphill. My boyfriend and his friends drove by, honked and kept going. FML

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

#21038727
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45671) - you deserved it (5009)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. 5ML

#21038584
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38901) - you deserved it (21146)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

#21037822
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41639) - you deserved it (4554)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

#21036979
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42705) - you deserved it (14649)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by MarBlu - United States

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

#21035414
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42374) - you deserved it (5694)

On 01/21/2014 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

#21035197
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38291) - you deserved it (3773)

On 01/21/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland

Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML

#21034785
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46238) - you deserved it (5016)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:07am - kids - by sickmom (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

#21034458
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26525) - you deserved it (40877)

On 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm - kids - by Ginger_Gawd - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55833) - you deserved it (8980)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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