Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LizetteBerenice

Offline (the 07/21/2015 at 3:59pm) | Search for a member

LizetteBerenice

97Fucked!

LizetteBereniceLizetteBerenice
  • Town/Country : Arc, France
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 July 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8213
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

LizetteBerenice's page activity

Visits<b>flannelboss27</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 3:02pm<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 9:26pm<b>jman1324</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 2:09pm<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:55pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:43pm<b>MannyM</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 10:51pm<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 12:09am<b>lizzeh333</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:41pm<b>littleb96</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 9:43pm<b>mistykitten</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 8:45pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 5:26pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 1:24am<b>HitlerLovingFag</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 5:29am<b>ItsNotThatBadBae</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 12:12am<b>ImaKoala</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 4:34pm<b>9Ja4cOb</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:54am<b>dmo4</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 4:27pm<b>SAGARCo</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 12:45am

Fucked!<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 8:44pm<b>9Ja4cOb</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:55am<b>kangx1</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 5:48pm<b>niksatter96</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 6:28am<b>johndog699</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:59am<b>dk1991</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 8:50am<b>jacky75</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 9:20pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 7:42pm<b>Eyalsh</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:07pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 4:48pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 2:31pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 2:08pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:14am<b>whoopydoodah</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:21am<b>AkumaUchiha</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 1:19pm<b>kooljac702</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:38am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 1:25am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 1:47pm

LizetteBerenice's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of LizetteBerenice's badges

LizetteBerenice's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50361) - you deserved it (6890)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50848) - you deserved it (7645)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

#21145558
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49694) - you deserved it (5660)

On 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm - kids - by Baby eater - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45715) - you deserved it (9665)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37009) - you deserved it (58194)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

#21139495
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49105) - you deserved it (11276)

On 05/14/2014 at 9:12am - health - by thanks4support - United States (Ohio)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (68733)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55252) - you deserved it (7365)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

#21138836
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57462) - you deserved it (8981)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:02pm - animals - by dating a big bag of dicks (woman) - United States

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66659) - you deserved it (15592)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52432) - you deserved it (17705)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

#21127339
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42703) - you deserved it (5340)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44885) - you deserved it (7151)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: