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Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21645) - you deserved it (2424)
On 08/30/2011 at 12:45pm - kids - by bunkbed - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24712) - you deserved it (2529)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25393) - you deserved it (36797)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States
Today, I learned that the "If I can't see you, you can't see me." rule is entirely false. Just because I can't initially see my creepy neighbor, doesn't mean he isn't watching me change my clothes through the blinds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20169) - you deserved it (2376)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Peekaboo (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22488) - you deserved it (3167)
On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27213) - you deserved it (2045)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31922) - you deserved it (10213)
On 08/13/2011 at 12:06am - love - by sydneybourgeois - United States (Texas)
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28551) - you deserved it (8924)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31057) - you deserved it (8235)
On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31918) - you deserved it (2565)
On 07/15/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by SCREWED (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36594) - you deserved it (4737)
On 07/11/2011 at 11:37am - misc - by illenram06 - Philippines (Roxas)
Today, the girl I've been dating for several months, and fallen in love with, said "We're just friends, right? My mom thinks I'm leading you on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41857) - you deserved it (3324)
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54713) - you deserved it (2836)
On 06/05/2011 at 1:17am - love - by dumped - United States (Utah)
Today, I finally told the girl I've been after for more than a year that I'm attracted to her. Her response? A slight hug with a pat on the back as she said "There, there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27255) - you deserved it (3133)
On 05/28/2011 at 2:54am - love - by fedemere - United States (Florida)
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29579) - you deserved it (6684)
On 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Jon - United Kingdom (Essex)
Friday 24 May 2013
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