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LizetteBerenice's favorite FMLs
by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy
Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML
by AnnoyedWoman / 08/17/2014 at 6:19am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love
Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML
by thoughthewasjoking / 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm / United States (Alabama) / Money
by weirded out / 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML
by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy
by younggirl101 / 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML
by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by TCRII / 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Transportation
Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML
by Oldhouse / 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML
by AylaMarie92 / 07/21/2014 at 5:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML
by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by NoSexForMe / 07/13/2014 at 3:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,…