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Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32489) - you deserved it (2304)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31228) - you deserved it (2383)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23320) - you deserved it (6428)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28980) - you deserved it (16911)
On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23442) - you deserved it (10127)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41325) - you deserved it (5083)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21148) - you deserved it (2483)
On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20889) - you deserved it (7793)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20889) - you deserved it (7793)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25002) - you deserved it (2203)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25002) - you deserved it (2203)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27468) - you deserved it (4622)
On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21618) - you deserved it (2424)
On 08/30/2011 at 12:45pm - kids - by bunkbed - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24705) - you deserved it (2529)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (36767)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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