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LizetteBerenice's FML badges
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LizetteBerenice's favorite FMLs
Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2014 at 1:52pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (California) / Love
by littleteapot / 09/04/2014 at 10:47pm / United States / Intimacy
by very punny / 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by ihatejasonderulo / 09/02/2014 at 11:32am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Intimacy
Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML
by emilyparker / 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by AgentOrion / 08/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML
by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by angry girlfriend / 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of boredom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML
by annababyyyy / 08/24/2014 at 9:09pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML
by fuck you, tasha / 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/24/2014 at 12:14am / United States / Love
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML
by leastitwasntsurpriseanal / 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML
by humdrummitydrum / 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm / United States / Health
- Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip… Today, as I was mowing my neighbors lawn, I found the playboy magazine he left in his yard. I found… Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my mii knocked out her mii in Wii boxing.…
- Today, I met my host family for study abroad. I meant to tell them that I've always wanted a sister… Today, my mom cracked my back so hard that my sternum cracked as well. Breathing has never been so… Today, I finally got up the nerve to give my two weeks notice at my job. Not six hours after giving…