Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LizetteBerenice

Offline (the 05/12/2015 at 11:02pm) | Search for a member

LizetteBerenice

91Fucked!

LizetteBereniceLizetteBerenice
  • Town/Country : Arc, France
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5428
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

LizetteBerenice's page activity

Visits<b>tomorrow89</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 12:09pm<b>bps315</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:47pm<b>nwdt3621</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:57pm<b>FastNLoud225</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 7:45pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:28am<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 1:17pm<b>Epickiller</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:51pm<b>jhonn</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:49am<b>prajju99</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 2:30am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 3:44pm<b>LadyGagasNipple</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:21pm<b>Sobe_1900</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 12:10am<b>ethanc12</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 2:20am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:27pm<b>0XBlazeX0</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 11:23pm<b>MattBenid</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 4:56pm<b>cnbcad</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:39am<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 9:53am

Fucked!<b>jacky75</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 9:20pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 7:42pm<b>Eyalsh</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:07pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 4:48pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 2:31pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 2:08pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:14am<b>whoopydoodah</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:21am<b>AkumaUchiha</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 1:19pm<b>kooljac702</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:38am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 1:25am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 1:47pm<b>horneyhic</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 1:10pm<b>viaaaaaa</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:48pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 11:44am<b>FrostHeart</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:40pm<b>NoNamedBrilliant</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 8:44am<b>mostly</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:54pm

LizetteBerenice's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of LizetteBerenice's badges

LizetteBerenice's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45254) - you deserved it (4747)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37480) - you deserved it (5016)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38497) - you deserved it (14872)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41792) - you deserved it (4711)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of boredom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40116) - you deserved it (7294)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

#21244154
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38616) - you deserved it (3073)

On 08/24/2014 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

#21243243
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35912) - you deserved it (2924)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43774) - you deserved it (6228)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43304) - you deserved it (9423) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46195) - you deserved it (5260)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19398) - you deserved it (36747)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35152) - you deserved it (3332)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52551) - you deserved it (6863)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: