Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LizetteBerenice

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

LizetteBerenice

19Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1365
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

LizetteBerenice's page activity

Visits<b>jedijosh1</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:41pm<b>wowwzaa</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 10:10am<b>Swindell_Dc</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 9:26pm<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 12:47pm<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:02pm<b>hard_candy</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 6:14am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 3:20pm<b>martin_dustinc</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:46am<b>Ramzo</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:45am<b>Rainbowbish</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:41am<b>jgmoney3</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:21am<b>biancajade7</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:17am<b>skychu</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:06am<b>robertd73</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:03am<b>BaKuTay</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:02am<b>Alchemical</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:58pm<b>metalhead4740</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:54pm<b>cornyrob</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:39pm

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 6:02am<b>lord_meloetta</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 5:24am<b>jedijosh1</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 5:21am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 4:22am<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 3:38am<b>TOLL</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 2:29am<b>connor227448</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:09am<b>Ironmayhem</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:45pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:16pm<b>Asdruben22</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 10:03pm<b>brandoneyez1</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 8:27pm<b>thinblue32</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 7:46pm<b>lild343</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 7:35pm<b>kunal222</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 7:19pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:41pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 6:19pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 12:35pm

LizetteBerenice's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of LizetteBerenice's badges

LizetteBerenice's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29705) - you deserved it (37951)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58131) - you deserved it (7224)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40309) - you deserved it (6124)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42465) - you deserved it (3383)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51371) - you deserved it (4406)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51747) - you deserved it (6630)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43010) - you deserved it (6138)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52197) - you deserved it (16867)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML

#21173916
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46978) - you deserved it (4472)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:56pm - misc - by -_- (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

#21173084
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46450) - you deserved it (5581)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML

#21170120
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40102) - you deserved it (17490)

On 06/10/2014 at 9:01pm - animals - by imalosertho (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML

#21165912
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45390) - you deserved it (14261)

On 06/07/2014 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

#21165255
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55191) - you deserved it (9093)

On 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: