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LizetteBerenice

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LizetteBerenice

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 786
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LizetteBerenice's page activity

Visits<b>Zm90</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Effulgence</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 4:34pm<b>MrBlackledge</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:24pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Arestian</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:40pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:31pm<b>VolitairianArrow</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 11:56am<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 8:20am<b>YTfangirl</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:54am<b>EmpireCityRay</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 6:42am<b>aruiz51</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 4:50am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 3:45am<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:45am<b>Pwib</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:38am<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:16am<b>Nerfherder69</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 12:52am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 12:44am<b>Jenra</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 12:30am

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:41pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 6:19pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 12:35pm<b>zarosian</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 12:49am

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LizetteBerenice's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50287) - you deserved it (11752)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39674) - you deserved it (3344)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

#21216856
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39989) - you deserved it (4862)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm - misc - by Oldhouse (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29652) - you deserved it (37914)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57196) - you deserved it (7192)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40226) - you deserved it (6110)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42394) - you deserved it (3378)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49802) - you deserved it (4165)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51159) - you deserved it (6599)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42927) - you deserved it (6126)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52049) - you deserved it (16836)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML

#21173916
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46916) - you deserved it (4466)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:56pm - misc - by -_- (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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