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LizetteBerenice

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LizetteBerenice

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 679
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LizetteBerenice's page activity

Visits<b>PaulCooper</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 5:37pm<b>xavior4690</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:53pm<b>hanamichi</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:57pm<b>sprinkle90</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:23pm<b>shelby_marie1102</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:07pm<b>soccer8goalie</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 9:36am<b>vlader08</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:52am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:10pm<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 1:38am<b>Mistress420xX</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:08pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 5:51pm<b>kiem84</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 4:58pm<b>y0utu13er</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 4:19pm<b>Claytonioo</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:41pm<b>Loser97217</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:10pm<b>altpokey</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:01pm<b>afman89</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:45pm<b>SirMiniHobbit</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:23pm

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LizetteBerenice's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29608) - you deserved it (37883)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55744) - you deserved it (7148)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42344) - you deserved it (3377)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49691) - you deserved it (4161)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42864) - you deserved it (6120)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51975) - you deserved it (16815)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML

#21173916
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46879) - you deserved it (4461)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:56pm - misc - by -_- (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

#21173084
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45577) - you deserved it (5450)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML

#21170120
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39979) - you deserved it (17448)

On 06/10/2014 at 9:01pm - animals - by imalosertho (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML

#21165912
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42331) - you deserved it (12966)

On 06/07/2014 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

#21165255
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54982) - you deserved it (9075)

On 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42217) - you deserved it (6160)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

#21158441
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50836) - you deserved it (7129)

On 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm - kids - by idiot says "you raised him" (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44151) - you deserved it (8302)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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