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LizetteBerenice

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LizetteBerenice

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 702
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LizetteBerenice's page activity

Visits<b>PaulCooper</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 5:37pm<b>xavior4690</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:53pm<b>hanamichi</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:57pm<b>sprinkle90</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:23pm<b>shelby_marie1102</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:07pm<b>soccer8goalie</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 9:36am<b>vlader08</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:52am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:10pm<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 1:38am<b>Mistress420xX</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:08pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 5:51pm<b>kiem84</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 4:58pm<b>y0utu13er</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 4:19pm<b>Claytonioo</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:41pm<b>Loser97217</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:10pm<b>altpokey</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:01pm<b>afman89</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:45pm<b>SirMiniHobbit</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:23pm

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LizetteBerenice's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45875) - you deserved it (5461)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

#21230047
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24436) - you deserved it (51190)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44147) - you deserved it (6865)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41509) - you deserved it (21364)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49566) - you deserved it (11721)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39641) - you deserved it (3339)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

#21216856
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39948) - you deserved it (4861)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm - misc - by Oldhouse (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29632) - you deserved it (37897)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56365) - you deserved it (7169)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40192) - you deserved it (6105)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42365) - you deserved it (3378)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49743) - you deserved it (4163)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)



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