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LizetteBerenice

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LizetteBerenice

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 785
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LizetteBerenice's page activity

Visits<b>Zm90</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Effulgence</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 4:34pm<b>MrBlackledge</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:24pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Arestian</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:40pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:31pm<b>VolitairianArrow</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 11:56am<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 8:20am<b>YTfangirl</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:54am<b>EmpireCityRay</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 6:42am<b>aruiz51</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 4:50am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 3:45am<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:45am<b>Pwib</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:38am<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:16am<b>Nerfherder69</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 12:52am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 12:44am<b>Jenra</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 12:30am

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:41pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 6:19pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 12:35pm<b>zarosian</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 12:49am

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LizetteBerenice's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41420) - you deserved it (4682)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of bordom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39882) - you deserved it (7250)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

#21244154
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38389) - you deserved it (3057)

On 08/24/2014 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

#21243243
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35716) - you deserved it (2911)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42004) - you deserved it (5961)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40804) - you deserved it (8358) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44374) - you deserved it (4846)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17780) - you deserved it (34354)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34317) - you deserved it (3046)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47210) - you deserved it (5522)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44849) - you deserved it (6917)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41538) - you deserved it (21379)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML



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