Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LizetteBerenice

Offline (17 minutes ago) | Search for a member

LizetteBerenice

22Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2041
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

LizetteBerenice's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Al3xv3l92</b> - 7 hours ago<b>HelloMatey</b> - 7 hours ago<b>ILikeBigButts_</b> - 7 hours ago<b>sexymomo1234</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Epic_Times</b> - 8 hours ago<b>alcalaboy5</b> - 9 hours ago<b>annihil8or</b> - 11 hours ago<b>martini47</b> - 11 hours ago<b>oobergoober89</b> - 11 hours ago<b>SirMiniHobbit</b> - 11 hours ago<b>xwingtwo</b> - 12 hours ago<b>thevelociraptor</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Isak366</b> - 15 hours ago<b>krakalacka</b> - 15 hours ago<b>gabythatcher</b> - 15 hours ago<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Kruitdamp</b> - 16 hours ago

Liked!<b>martini47</b> - 5 hours ago<b>danielhartlesss</b> - 17 hours ago<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 8:47pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 6:02am<b>lord_meloetta</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 5:24am<b>jedijosh1</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 5:21am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 4:22am<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 3:38am<b>TOLL</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 2:29am<b>connor227448</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:09am<b>Ironmayhem</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:45pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:16pm<b>Asdruben22</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 10:03pm<b>brandoneyez1</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 8:27pm<b>thinblue32</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 7:46pm<b>lild343</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 7:35pm<b>kunal222</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 7:19pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:56pm

LizetteBerenice's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of LizetteBerenice's badges

LizetteBerenice's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

#21343357
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23100) - you deserved it (2828)

On 01/24/2015 at 9:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I made fun of a friend at a dinner party after he forgot to put his engagement ring on. It turned out his fiancée actually ended the engagement last week, and everyone thinks I was being spiteful just because the girl is my ex. FML

#21340977
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (7705)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:16pm - love - by FootInMouth - South Africa

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31057) - you deserved it (3318)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got fired from my job because my boss thinks that me doing everything he says makes me untrustworthy. FML

#21331517
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28846) - you deserved it (2074)

On 01/05/2015 at 7:16pm - work - by zacharynedley - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

#21329462
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33192) - you deserved it (6716)

On 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by I'll Make You FartCum (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was home alone when I heard the carbon-monoxide detector beeping. Panicking, I grabbed my dog, ran out of my house as fast as I could, and waited outside for 3 hours for my mom to get home. Turned out the detector was just out of batteries. FML

#21315834
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26564) - you deserved it (6704)

On 12/11/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

#21311698
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26937) - you deserved it (2207)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

#21296102
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35750) - you deserved it (5319)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40262) - you deserved it (3424)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

#21294259
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53525) - you deserved it (2952)

On 11/07/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38179) - you deserved it (10767)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36962) - you deserved it (11198)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37896) - you deserved it (5930)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

#21278162
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39566) - you deserved it (4649)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:27am - misc - by burritobreasts -

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

#21270586
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35527) - you deserved it (6592)

On 10/04/2014 at 9:57am - love - by cuteloser (man) - Australia



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: