About Lizard88 : HALARIOUS!
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200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Lizard88's favorite FMLs
by nela25 / 07/30/2013 at 1:51pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called to confirm the appointment that I made over six months ago at the tattoo studio. Turns out my particular artist "doesn't work Tuesdays" and that they also miraculously have no record of my appointment, nor the cash deposit I had to put down. FML
by pittman137 / 07/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (Idaho) / Money
by imagrouch / 07/30/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by kayak probs / 07/30/2013 at 10:13am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 2:52am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML
by Bug8Frog / 07/30/2013 at 2:42am / United States (Alaska) / Animals
by Wakachulak / 07/30/2013 at 1:55am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 9:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 3:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by PrettyScared / 07/29/2013 at 11:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 4:19am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, I was crying at my desk at work. My colleague tried to cheer me up by saying: "Don't worry, I'm sure you will find a new job soon". I didn't even know I was fired. I was crying because my cat died this morning. FML
by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 10:31am / Sweden (Dalarnas Lan) / Work