Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LizHasAJellyfish

Offline (yesterday at 5:07am) | Search for a member

LizHasAJellyfish

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 July 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 164
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

LizHasAJellyfish's page activity

Visits<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:04am<b>JokerJim2013</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 11:49am

LizHasAJellyfish's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of LizHasAJellyfish's badges

LizHasAJellyfish's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a gig. The drummer threw his drumsticks out at the end and I managed to catch one. With my face. Not only did I get a black eye, but the person next to me snatched the drumstick from my hands. FML

#21454163
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (1556)

On 08/10/2015 at 4:32am - misc - by mildlyconcussed - Italy (Campania)

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29010) - you deserved it (4803)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML

#21443899
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27284) - you deserved it (2039)

On 07/19/2015 at 5:02am - misc - by wtf did he do - United States (Alaska)

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

#21443580
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22281) - you deserved it (2886)

On 07/18/2015 at 3:08pm - kids - by ddhaley1 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33716) - you deserved it (2466)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25062) - you deserved it (4776)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

#21425055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25883) - you deserved it (4556)

On 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML

#21423445
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26484) - you deserved it (2022)

On 06/09/2015 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I decided to wax my eyebrows. My entire eyebrow came off. FML

#21421754
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22341) - you deserved it (12955)

On 06/06/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Eyebrowless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a call to the rodent rescue I run. They wanted to know if we had any mice for adoption and how much they cost. I told them that we had over 30 mice, and that we don't charge but do take donations. They said, "That's fantastic! I've been struggling to find snake food that isn't frozen!" FML

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, my self-esteem issues got me jealous of Superman's hair. FML

#21385588
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21818) - you deserved it (6237)

On 04/01/2015 at 12:20pm - misc - by curseyousuperman (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my dad turned off our cable. The reason? His favorite character from The Walking Dead died. FML

#21375425
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33040) - you deserved it (3333)

On 03/16/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by jfields2474 - United States (California)

Today, my mom sent me a pic of a blank paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

#21362620
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33767) - you deserved it (3008)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:32pm - misc - by toastynippies - United States

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29964) - you deserved it (4108)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: