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LittleSam3's favorite FMLs
by FMLMom / 08/08/2012 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
by Joe Lizen / 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML
by lils / 08/05/2012 at 1:45pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 5:02am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 12:39pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by cortanaisahobot / 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML
by InsomniacToBe / 07/19/2012 at 11:55am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, I auditioned for the role of Rizzo in a local production of Grease. The director told me I wasn't tough enough, and that my persona too sweet and childlike for the part. I asked if I should instead try out to play Sandy. He replied "I was being nice. Honestly, you're ugly and can't act." FML
by anonymous / 07/18/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Alliente / 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm / United States / Love
by lovealways22 / 07/17/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Colorado) / Love
by dogmom / 07/16/2012 at 4:51pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad,… Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings… Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This…