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LittleMonsterSam

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LittleMonsterSam
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 819
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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LittleMonsterSam's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

#15345509
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30020) - you deserved it (4577)

On 03/17/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Username -

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104466) - you deserved it (14016)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was arguing in the car with my boyfriend about who was the better driver. Being so incensed by the fact that he thought he was better made me completely zone out, and run a red light. FML

#14197688
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4859) - you deserved it (33002)

On 12/14/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by driver26 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a message from the girl I like. She told me to never speak to her again and not even look at her any more. Apparently the letter I wrote to her was perverted, vile and nasty. I never wrote her a letter. FML

#14197569
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31672) - you deserved it (2063)

On 12/14/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

#6963425
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6683) - you deserved it (61220)

On 12/26/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking my husky when she saw a cat and bolted toward it. I couldn't let go of the leash because my hand was tangled up. Forced to run along, I ran into a parked van at full sprint. I lost my dog, broke two ribs and have to pay for the dent in the van. FML

#487128
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84662) - you deserved it (8485)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:08am - animals - by frame (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML

#198031
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102457) - you deserved it (6586)

On 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by ILTali (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213837) - you deserved it (73285)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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