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LittleGhost's favorite FMLs
Today, I left for a one and a half month trip to Japan with my boyfriend. He promptly broke up with me the first night in the hotel. When asked why he couldn't have waited until the trip was over, he said he didn't want to create "false memories". FML
by VacationRuined / 06/16/2013 at 7:22pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Holidays
by idontwanttoknow / 06/16/2013 at 7:37am / United States / Intimacy
by sex deprived / 06/16/2013 at 1:10am / United States / Intimacy
by fun / 06/16/2013 at 12:54am / United States / Love
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML
by woof woof?? / 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by bloody / 06/15/2013 at 4:57am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 3:32am / United States (Louisiana) / Love
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
by well then... / 06/15/2013 at 1:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 12:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
by Jill / 06/15/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids
by bestiality, not even once / 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2013 at 5:21pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 2:56pm / India (Maharashtra) / Love
Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML
by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 11:13am / United States (Minnesota) / Health