Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LittleBastard

Search for a member

LittleBastard

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 July 1944 (70 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 272
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About LittleBastard : I'm confused as of why we need to have so many luxuries in life, like this smartphone I'm using to write this to you, even though this section is to tell you about myself, I'd rather write nonsense to the unsuspecting viewer of my profile.

LittleBastard's page activity

Visits<b>jay_south</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:08am<b>groovy579</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 6:51pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 1:35pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 1:06am<b>Quishan_bass</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 11:47am<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 5:47am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 12:42pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 11:23pm<b>botanistjessica</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 9:23am<b>WolfLady</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 11:13pm<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 2:00am<b>emxy92</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 10:14pm<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 1:36pm<b>Danielle2438</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 10:53am<b>Zaros</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 10:16am<b>Blixamarkham</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 2:47am

LittleBastard's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of LittleBastard's badges

LittleBastard's favorite FMLs

Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML

#21192976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39173) - you deserved it (10570)

On 06/29/2014 at 9:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, my mom brought her sleazy boyfriend home. He took one look at me, swatted my ass, and said, "It runs in the family." My mom just laughed and winked at me, and mouthed, "He's a keeper!" FML

#21103666
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56542) - you deserved it (3923)

On 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm - love - by wiona (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

#21095315
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40857) - you deserved it (5885)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

#21034458
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26457) - you deserved it (40776)

On 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm - kids - by Ginger_Gawd - United States (Florida)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49292) - you deserved it (9276)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

#21007608
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40882) - you deserved it (5291)

On 12/27/2013 at 8:37pm - animals - by eyes wide SHIT (woman) - Australia

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37168) - you deserved it (3382)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48571) - you deserved it (6428)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44090) - you deserved it (19775)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom said I should start wearing push up bras to make myself look better. I was wearing one when she said that. FML

#20976101
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40800) - you deserved it (3456)

On 11/30/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by flatchested Sam - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44744) - you deserved it (4722)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66579) - you deserved it (5554)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

#20944930
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16101) - you deserved it (64641)

On 11/04/2013 at 6:39am - misc - by Anonymous -



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: