About LittleBastard : so I decided that I am way too beautiful to keep that picture of me up, don't want to burn any eyeballs.
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LittleBastard's favorite FMLs
Today, I spilled the bowl of cat food I'd just filled. I picked it all up in front of my cat, but he refused to eat any of it. I had to put the food back into the packet and fill the bowl all over again. My cat is a prince. FML
by princeronron / 09/07/2015 at 10:02pm / Switzerland (Vaud) / Animals
Today, a male friend of mine tried to kiss me. When I shoved him away and demanded to know what the fuck he was doing, he said he didn't think I was really a lesbian because I went on a date with a guy. Once. Over 15 years ago. FML
by Tag / 09/06/2015 at 8:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by ACCCHHHOOOO!!!!!!!!! -_- / 09/04/2015 at 11:48am / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around the corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced him self to me as the head manager. FML
by notsogoodtrainee / 07/09/2015 at 1:02pm / United States (North Dakota) / Work
Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
by Anonymous / 05/19/2015 at 10:01am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML
by gross / 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Crombinator / 05/01/2015 at 1:30am / United States (Oregon) / Geek
Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML
by fuck / 04/18/2015 at 10:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by ThatSlappinBass / 04/17/2015 at 10:00pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
by blemarooney / 04/14/2015 at 11:49am / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 9:56pm / United States / Intimacy
by jamisbetter / 04/11/2015 at 8:34am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
by pukeytimes / 04/10/2015 at 7:03pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML
by dickhead / 04/10/2015 at 6:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2015 at 11:10am / United States / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…