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Lisimal

Offline (the 04/02/2015 at 4:36am) | Search for a member

Lisimal

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 24350
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Lisimal :

Lisimal's page activity

Visits<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:27am<b>moneylessrc</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 6:25pm<b>Bradley_Dillon</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 2:39pm<b>CryoShock</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:55pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 8:39am<b>killuhand</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 12:52pm<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:48am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:14pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:12am<b>singer0421</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:27pm<b>kubackster</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 10:59am<b>fay313</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:27pm<b>cookycoconut</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 9:10pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:27pm<b>Vahex</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 9:54am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 11:42pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 12:34pm<b>ivanmunoz</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 12:24am

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Lisimal's favorite FMLs

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML

#21384991
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26312) - you deserved it (5205)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

#21384902
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26323) - you deserved it (2286)

On 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm - work - by DrunkParents - United States (Montana)

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40885) - you deserved it (41521)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48484) - you deserved it (16278)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

#14460417
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44719) - you deserved it (5376)

On 01/04/2011 at 5:56am - intimacy - by LoveMyNewBro -

Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML

#14368305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27405) - you deserved it (9905)

On 12/28/2010 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML

#14368305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27405) - you deserved it (9905)

On 12/28/2010 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML

#14368305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27405) - you deserved it (9905)

On 12/28/2010 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42096) - you deserved it (8781)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

#14239433
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40153) - you deserved it (3476)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

#14239433
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40153) - you deserved it (3476)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML

#14143329
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34986) - you deserved it (5130)

On 12/09/2010 at 2:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36696) - you deserved it (9823)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33332) - you deserved it (10939)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

#13930948
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35741) - you deserved it (4783)

On 11/21/2010 at 10:42pm - animals - by dickwebs - Germany



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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