Lirie

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Lirie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 July 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13331
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Lirie : noooooo

Lirie's page activity

Visits<b>Sacytrl</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 11:04am<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 2:47pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 6:35pm<b>KevinFlynn</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 12:04am<b>LeonnJ</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 5:21pm<b>NotGabe</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 2:53am<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 10:06pm<b>EvilPandaxD</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 6:53am<b>AnonForAReason</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 3:24pm<b>WolfieTheBadass</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 2:49am<b>animalover9</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 8:45pm<b>samcro3</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 8:57am<b>zombieslayer83</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 4:51pm<b>kansah</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 3:20pm<b>guitarst1071995</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 12:43pm

Lirie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Lirie's badges

Lirie's favorite FMLs

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

by dear god help me. / 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

by interphaseprophasemetaphase / 09/04/2013 at 7:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

by WaltTheFuckDad / 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

by cassidy_smith12 / 08/24/2013 at 10:55am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm watching a TV show about horrible germs in hotel rooms that you can catch from a bed... while I am stuck in a hotel room... on the bed. FML

by HannahBretts / 08/24/2013 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

by Kingofbosses / 08/22/2013 at 1:31am / United States / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

by mykhael / 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm / United States (Louisiana) / Animals

Today, I got to watch how easy it is to break into my flat, after I locked myself out and went to my neighbour for help. He used a blunt pencil. FML

by mamaflower / 08/19/2013 at 4:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML

by sweet23 / 08/18/2013 at 7:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

by frustrated / 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm / Ireland (Kerry) / Intimacy

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

by The Corner Of Death / 08/12/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

by (._. ) / 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 11:19am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Health

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work