Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Lioness8197

Online | Search for a member

Lioness8197

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5032
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Lioness8197 : I love reading and writing.

I love to longboard.

I want a Great Dane and German Shepherd.

I love baseball and football.

Lions are my favorite animal.

I'm a Leo.

I want to become a baker and one day own a bakery that I can call mine.

I'm a very respectful person. Don't assume because I'm a teenager I'm rude, disrespectful and inconsiderate.

Lioness8197's page activity

Visits<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:00am<b>mason_night</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:11pm<b>Abdelhady</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 8:30pm<b>__Tron_Cat__</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 9:38pm<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 10:12am<b>d_white43</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:31am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:19pm<b>Purrrvana</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:02pm<b>toog77</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 6:05am<b>RosePetalHarris</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:44am<b>kee_breezy32</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 7:25am<b>janeencynthia</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:33am<b>pocky90</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:17am<b>xiax</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:16pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:36am<b>fmlmica</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 3:01am<b>Paintonmyarms214</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:59am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:23am

Lioness8197's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Lioness8197's badges

Lioness8197's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

#683803
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63818) - you deserved it (23690)

On 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Hotsauce887 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML

#657715
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66223) - you deserved it (12626)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:07am - love - by Anon. (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML

#620821
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123366) - you deserved it (9262)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84182) - you deserved it (31450)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (243281) - you deserved it (32114)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (243281) - you deserved it (32114)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was getting my mail, I received a free coupon from a baby supply store saying "congratulations on your expectancy." Thinking it was a mistake, I showed my girlfriend, who I am living with. All she had to say was "Surprise!" FML

#492457
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72663) - you deserved it (15626)

On 03/20/2009 at 5:04pm - kids - by daddy-to-be (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

#446324
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99948) - you deserved it (24765)

On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52317) - you deserved it (31578)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

#308282
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64286) - you deserved it (4658)

On 03/13/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother's new girlfriend, who is blind, asked to feel my face so she could tell what I look like. She said I was "unique". A blind chick just told me I was ugly. FML

#267398
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60159) - you deserved it (4914)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by GreenScar (man) - United States (California)

Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML

#227802
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19686) - you deserved it (47078)

On 03/06/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by jacks_smirking_revenge (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

#217290
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24743) - you deserved it (128858)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm - health - by ubbernoob (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." So I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well I am still not attracted to you though." FML

#207731
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69753) - you deserved it (7167)

On 03/04/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by alone_forever (woman) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: