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Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30360) - you deserved it (3044)
On 04/19/2010 at 7:24pm - animals - by buttpicker - United States
Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14949) - you deserved it (1794)
On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5230) - you deserved it (40088)
On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw boobs, in person, for the first time. Too bad they were my mom's and I'm 27. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25238) - you deserved it (5804)
On 02/26/2010 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by sad (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35206) - you deserved it (2202)
On 02/21/2010 at 2:50pm - animals - by ughno - United States (Texas)
Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19498) - you deserved it (2244)
On 02/19/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by GeneralElement (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster. She's 17 and got into Columbia early admissions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19766) - you deserved it (3543)
On 02/19/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by grrrrrr (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster. She's 17 and got into Columbia early admissions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19766) - you deserved it (3543)
On 02/19/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by grrrrrr (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (4206)
On 02/16/2010 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31619) - you deserved it (2577)
On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30082) - you deserved it (2505)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States
Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19849) - you deserved it (4636)
On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27320) - you deserved it (6033)
On 02/05/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by hisgirl4life (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I realized what all the women I've been with have in common: Craigslist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4876) - you deserved it (17602)
On 01/31/2010 at 12:42pm - love - by depr3ssed (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12379) - you deserved it (60224)
On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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