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Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45462) - you deserved it (3693)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)
Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39130) - you deserved it (4470) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51787) - you deserved it (10773)
On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States
Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43692) - you deserved it (2710)
On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany
Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29341) - you deserved it (7980)
On 04/05/2013 at 12:34pm - money - by Z'ev - United States (New York)
Today, my twelve year-old son thought it would be a good idea to relentlessly shoot the mail truck with a paintball gun in front of all the neighbors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25390) - you deserved it (8094)
On 04/05/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by NYmets456 - United States (New York)
Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27647) - you deserved it (1556)
On 04/03/2013 at 10:51pm - misc - by JaneDoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27098) - you deserved it (3073)
On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24741) - you deserved it (2022)
On 03/22/2013 at 6:49am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at the library doing research for my midterm. All of the computers were in use, so I decided to use my laptop instead. Ten minutes later, I was confronted and kicked out. My offense? Unauthorized use of the library's so-called "Free Public WiFi". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29289) - you deserved it (2021)
On 03/12/2013 at 3:03pm - misc - by PhailedMidterm (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24818) - you deserved it (4021)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33091) - you deserved it (1504)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia
Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied for at my local hospital. Being just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks for the confidence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27346) - you deserved it (1628)
On 03/10/2013 at 9:51pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40689) - you deserved it (3957)
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14222) - you deserved it (49604)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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