About Lilsbills : My name is Lily.
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Lilsbills's favorite FMLs
by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, I was offered a job that pays far more than I expected, being a high school senior. My parents decided they aren't letting me take the job, saying I should enjoy my childhood. They're also not paying for my college, which is why I was looking for work in the first place. FML
by Remy / 11/16/2013 at 6:39pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML
by mummer11 / 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous
by Alice99 / 11/12/2013 at 12:39pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/30/2013 at 6:27pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Work
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML
by Dick the Greater / 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm / Intimacy
Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML
by oldshitnewshit / 10/22/2013 at 5:11pm / United States / Work
by U_U / 10/20/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my neighbour came over with a bag containing lingerie, and apologized while blushing. Turns out his boy was the reason that my lingerie kept disappearing from my garden clothesline recently. His "boy" is over 20 years younger than me. FML
by noreia / 10/06/2013 at 12:11am / Hong Kong / Kids
Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML
by 94lbs of muscle / 10/02/2013 at 2:37pm / Health
Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML
by PickedOnByDamien / 10/02/2013 at 4:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML
by SuperFail55 / 10/01/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by DOCMONROE / 09/30/2013 at 6:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…