Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Lilsbills

Search for a member

Lilsbills

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 December 2000 (13 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1891
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Lilsbills : My name is Lily.

Lilsbills's page activity

Visits<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:24pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:44am<b>Adam5858</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:01pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 8:12am<b>Godsofdracos</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 7:54am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 5:20pm<b>ChloeLentin</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 8:49am<b>bernlee24</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:04pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 5:20am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 11:17pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 9:29am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 12:40am<b>Prerogative</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:49pm<b>isabella1501</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 10:56pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 7:40am<b>mif</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 9:54pm<b>GuyNoOneKnows</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 12:45pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 7:41pm

Lilsbills's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Lilsbills's badges

Lilsbills's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43394) - you deserved it (9322)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53279) - you deserved it (4457)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, after I took my first set of exams, my professor posted on Twitter, scoffing at how stupid one student's answer was. The answer he quoted was one that I wrote. FML

#21036248
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46095) - you deserved it (9359)

On 01/22/2014 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, after three weeks of fighting with my husband, I found out that he really didn't create an account on a website for cheaters and charge the bill to his credit card. Our daughter did it as a prank, and only confessed because our fighting was stressing her out. FML

#21031747
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48378) - you deserved it (5753)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51492) - you deserved it (11541)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My boyfriend thinks I'm faking the whole thing in revenge for the fight we had yesterday. FML

Today, my sister had me kicked out of her wedding reception for, in the words of her new husband, "harshing the buzz." FML

#21028633
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35470) - you deserved it (4924)

On 01/15/2014 at 10:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53063) - you deserved it (32317)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55958) - you deserved it (5626)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

#21022453
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57165) - you deserved it (6937)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

#21022393
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41534) - you deserved it (5132)

On 01/09/2014 at 11:01am - love - by BornToBeABurden (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

#21020358
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47747) - you deserved it (9093)

On 01/07/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by owl + bungee cord (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

#21019231
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55956) - you deserved it (6895)

On 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by innocent - Australia

Today, I realised after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a naked dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agreed that I needed a "trim". FML

#21019082
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48714) - you deserved it (20205)

On 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - South Africa



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: