About Lilsbills : My name is Lily.
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Lilsbills's favorite FMLs
by Deaththreat101 / 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML
by daddydaughterWTF / 08/01/2012 at 8:06pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML
by InsomniacToBe / 07/19/2012 at 11:55am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
by needmorelocks / 07/03/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Bad Mommy / 06/21/2012 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Kids
by StungAlot / 06/19/2012 at 6:32am / United States / Health
by anonymous / 06/16/2012 at 9:57am / United States / Love
Today, I watched a movie with my little sister. I couldn't understand a word that was said during one scene, but I figured it was in some kind of made-up language. When I commented on it later, she called me a moron and said it was Spanish. FML
by sickdisney / 05/21/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (California) / Kids
by rawr_fml001 / 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by T3STI / 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
Today, I was hanging out with some of my friends when I fell asleep. When I woke up, I found that they had shaved the F word into my arm. I don't know what is more disturbing: the fact that this is what my friends do for fun, or that I have enough arm hair to have four letters shaved into it. FML
by HAIRY / 04/26/2012 at 4:23pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…