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Lilsbills

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Lilsbills
  • Town/Country : Lancaster, America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 December 2000 (13 years)
  • Number of visits : 1060
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Lilsbills : My name is Lily.

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Lilsbills's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

#20713749
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40088) - you deserved it (7463)

On 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my friends and I went out for drinks. I'm the only one who's actually 21 or over, and they have fake IDs. Not only was I the only one to be carded, the bartender thought that my actual ID was fake. I got kicked out while my friends kept drinking. FML

#20697496
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48065) - you deserved it (3728)

On 05/31/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by whyme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

#20691094
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21729) - you deserved it (117576)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67150) - you deserved it (7566)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

#20634924
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (51385)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

#20634792
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53264) - you deserved it (3418)

On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

#20630400
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49701) - you deserved it (3388)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML

#20623794
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38401) - you deserved it (7685)

On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, my grandpa moved into the apartment next door. The walls are wafer-thin. Goodbye sex life. FML

Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML

Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML

#20602988
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40693) - you deserved it (12167)

On 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Aberrombie Blue - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50843) - you deserved it (8369)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML



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