Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Lilsbills

Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 3:42am) | Search for a member

Lilsbills

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 December 2000 (13 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2220
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Lilsbills : My name is Lily.

Lilsbills's page activity

Visits<b>starcaller17</b> - yesterday at 5:56pm<b>nb1234</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:52pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 3:30pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:24pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:44am<b>Adam5858</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:01pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 8:12am<b>Godsofdracos</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 7:54am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 5:20pm<b>ChloeLentin</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 8:49am<b>bernlee24</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:04pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 5:20am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 11:17pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 9:29am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 12:40am<b>Prerogative</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:49pm<b>isabella1501</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 10:56pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 7:40am

Lilsbills's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Lilsbills's badges

Lilsbills's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML

#20852500
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47065) - you deserved it (2515)

On 08/24/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I attended my first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure my alien-like appearance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML

Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later, I was doing homework and took a Facebook break, changing my status to "So fucking boring." I'd forgotten to log out of the business account. FML

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

#20848570
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47926) - you deserved it (4246)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm - work - by baconbxtch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

#20822120
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51285) - you deserved it (14538)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

#20818297
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43603) - you deserved it (14485)

On 08/03/2013 at 4:40am - love - by Msmerfner - United States (California)

Today, I found a topless photo of my mother on my phone. Thanks, iCloud. FML

#20818189
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47767) - you deserved it (4572)

On 08/03/2013 at 2:46am - misc - by fsdjhgasjlhg (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51691) - you deserved it (11168)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was eating cereal, my mother thought it would be appropriate to grab the bowl and start spoon-feeding me while making airplane noises, again. I'm 19. FML

Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML

#20793609
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55452) - you deserved it (2900)

On 07/20/2013 at 2:31am - kids - by Happyunlucky (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

#20788038
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44529) - you deserved it (3712)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:56am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44256) - you deserved it (32383) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75993) - you deserved it (3698)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49777) - you deserved it (5733)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: