About Lillias :
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22893) - you deserved it (2982)
On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got an offer to study at a good university. My father has been pushing me to apply for years, so I ecstatically broke the news. Instead of congratulating me, he just grunted and delivered the more important news that he's divorcing my mum. Moment ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16570) - you deserved it (786)
On 01/05/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Sad nerd (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8323) - you deserved it (26123)
On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14164) - you deserved it (1014)
On 01/05/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by tftm - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18879) - you deserved it (4412)
On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20574) - you deserved it (990)
On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29307) - you deserved it (4756)
On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29377) - you deserved it (6433)
On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31308) - you deserved it (2923)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25610) - you deserved it (2574)
On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32290) - you deserved it (2704)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm - work - by shattysituation - United States
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38103) - you deserved it (2966)
On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32115) - you deserved it (2789)
On 12/28/2012 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40183) - you deserved it (4394)
On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34224) - you deserved it (16287)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Monday 20 May 2013
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