About Lillias :
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101127) - you deserved it (6281)
On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72574) - you deserved it (10078)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (177297) - you deserved it (25368)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my girlfriend and I were exchanging some naughty pictures. I accidentally sent one to everybody on my contacts, including my ex, my boss, and even Pizza Hut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12600) - you deserved it (51647)
On 06/20/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49475) - you deserved it (2305)
On 06/20/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by Dumbass - United States (Florida)
Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42700) - you deserved it (2763)
On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37541) - you deserved it (5192)
On 06/15/2009 at 1:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54373) - you deserved it (4818)
On 06/10/2009 at 9:12am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46807) - you deserved it (2267)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by dodgerkiss (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84660) - you deserved it (4526)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31297) - you deserved it (49256)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I met this really nice guy at the mall and he gave me his number. Later that night, I texted him. We got on the subject of food, and I started talking about how much I love veal. He responded with saying I was supporting animal murder, that I should go to hell and lose his number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36188) - you deserved it (17301)
On 05/30/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, there was a a huge storm. There were no buses so I walked for an hour to see my boyfriend of two years who (usually rather the unemotionally type) had called me, crying. When I got there soaking wet, he told me that he doesn't love me anymore and this makes him sad. I had to walk back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48880) - you deserved it (2389)
On 05/26/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (209825) - you deserved it (94834)
On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13281) - you deserved it (104345)
On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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