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Offline (the 05/22/2014 at 3:23pm) | Search for a member
About Lillias :
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today , as I was walking to my car , I noticd a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen , I walkd up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then macd me through the open window. FML
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time . Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money . FML
yesterday I finally found the courage to ask a guy I lyk out fir a drink. He accepted, we drank, an when it cummed time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him dad's number instead. FML
Today mah boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly putted it on mah finger he told me it wasn't an engagement ring but I should wear it like one to keep other men away an seem "unapproachable". FML
Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that mah wife has been sereching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend . I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics . Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug . I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle . mega FML
Today, My Sister's Boyfriend Called While She Was Out . The Second I Answered He Tried To Have Phone Sex With Me . When I Explained To Him That I Wasn't My Sister And That We Just Sound The Same On The Phone, He Replied, "Don't Care, Let's Keep Going." FML
Friday 27 March 2015