Lili_love

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Offline (the 09/17/2015 at 5:26am)

Lili_love

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 September 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2658
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Lili_love's page activity

Visits<b>jbivens1992</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:38am<b>LoneWolf2879</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 9:30am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 1:02am<b>onlytimewilltell</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 10:56pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 5:44pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 7:52am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 8:16pm<b>DemiAchlys</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 5:30am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 1:33pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 9:47pm<b>CaptinCorey</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 5:34am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 4:15pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:10am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 11:10pm<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 4:52pm<b>chandler88</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:35am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 11:29pm<b>XOLucy_21XO</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:59am

Fucked!<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 6:02am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:11am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:11am<b>chandler88</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 7:50am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 5:29am

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Lili_love's favorite FMLs

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

by horriblefashionsense / 09/26/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

by interphaseprophasemetaphase / 09/04/2013 at 7:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

by ktiskool / 08/01/2013 at 12:03am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Kids

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

by Dirty_Mind_69 / 07/20/2013 at 4:35am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

by Treats For Days / 07/19/2013 at 9:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous