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LilTiki559

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LilTiki559
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 July 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 798
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LilTiki559's favorite FMLs

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23688) - you deserved it (7492)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I defended the dried up things in the cup noodles as being real vegetables, just so that it would appear that I do actually eat vegetables. FML

#19219205
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3853) - you deserved it (12740)

On 03/05/2012 at 4:42am - health - by Nope (woman) - China

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35888) - you deserved it (24927)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21706) - you deserved it (1797)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML

#18906599
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6642) - you deserved it (24249)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:54am - health - by lol - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

#18808709
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18251) - you deserved it (3350)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm - misc - by 2gewd4u - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

#18804066
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21571) - you deserved it (5657)

On 01/14/2012 at 9:31am - love - by iheartmorons - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

#18714264
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31358) - you deserved it (1543)

On 01/05/2012 at 6:43am - money - by cazorp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26539) - you deserved it (20628)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him for the first time. His response was to smile and pat me on the head. FML

#18533113
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26314) - you deserved it (4296)

On 12/17/2011 at 1:49am - love - by teejayrn - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML

#18202130
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43269) - you deserved it (6329)

On 11/09/2011 at 3:00pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because we didn't have any ketchup packets. I work in a coffee shop. FML

#18096319
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23887) - you deserved it (1907)

On 10/28/2011 at 1:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML

#18095448
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15080) - you deserved it (10377)

On 10/28/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by blabla (woman) - Brazil

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

#18079662
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21297) - you deserved it (43083)

On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39424) - you deserved it (18404)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada



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