Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LilTiki559

Search for a member

LilTiki559

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1218
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

LilTiki559's page activity

Visits<b>hk1998</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:59am<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:43am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Morgan123883</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 7:40pm<b>Life_is_FML</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:03am<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:41am<b>misslysiak</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:24am<b>izzie321</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 8:35am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:01pm<b>abylenee_</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:04am<b>aaron1503</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:52am<b>AssassinD3</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 4:40pm<b>xxembabexx</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:26pm<b>aubrey_rayne</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 12:36pm<b>uhmmpaola</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 12:04am<b>computer11</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 7:45am

LilTiki559's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of LilTiki559's badges

LilTiki559's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML

#20138883
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30351) - you deserved it (5898)

On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

#20134273
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25627) - you deserved it (2489)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17873) - you deserved it (3019)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

#20079105
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28971) - you deserved it (3011)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23908) - you deserved it (2781)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17949) - you deserved it (23268)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14718) - you deserved it (38369)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML

#20009087
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29719) - you deserved it (3959)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:02am - intimacy - by FMLMom - United States (California)

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

#20000913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16849) - you deserved it (1662)

On 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by yeah okay then (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23874) - you deserved it (5453)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10671) - you deserved it (36751)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10671) - you deserved it (36751)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10671) - you deserved it (36751)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36020) - you deserved it (1639)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22734) - you deserved it (15126)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: