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LilTiki559

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 7:51am) | Search for a member

LilTiki559

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1413
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LilTiki559's page activity

Visits<b>merekat95</b> - yesterday at 8:00pm<b>abylenee_</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:01pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 8:54pm<b>mixinitup</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:27am<b>HitTheRoadJacK3</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:10pm<b>LEDZEPPALLTHEWAY</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:15pm<b>SpeedToast</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:00pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 6:45pm<b>JackSkellingtons</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:14pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:59am<b>DomiLove</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 7:01am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 9:03am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:00pm<b>accidentalsheep</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 5:58pm<b>QQMorePlox</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 5:26pm<b>jojoluv132</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 4:32am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 7:09pm<b>hk1998</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 7:16pm

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LilTiki559's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46041) - you deserved it (4176)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML

#20607010
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55611) - you deserved it (6795)

On 04/20/2013 at 8:02am - love - by How strange - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59722) - you deserved it (10734)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML

#20538059
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40833) - you deserved it (4757)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm - love - by Raiden (man) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

#20174308
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31848) - you deserved it (8106)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML

#20138883
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30439) - you deserved it (5906)

On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

#20134273
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25681) - you deserved it (2496)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17908) - you deserved it (3022)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

#20079105
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29032) - you deserved it (3014)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24000) - you deserved it (2788)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17995) - you deserved it (23311)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14763) - you deserved it (38422)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML

#20009087
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29982) - you deserved it (3991)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:02am - intimacy - by FMLMom - United States (California)

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

#20000913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16901) - you deserved it (1666)

On 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by yeah okay then (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23918) - you deserved it (5459)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)



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