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LilTiki559

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LilTiki559
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 July 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 797
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LilTiki559's favorite FMLs

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML

#20804217
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46169) - you deserved it (2411)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:58am - health - by Saddoc (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52490) - you deserved it (6065)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39701) - you deserved it (19299)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

#20759193
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (61151)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend bought another expensive bong to go with the one he bought last month, along with his new phone, airsoft gun, and various other things he's blown our money on this year. He's bought nothing to prepare for our son, though, who's due next month. FML

#20729447
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41525) - you deserved it (22220)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:11pm - money - by InconsiderateMuch (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49313) - you deserved it (3447)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43216) - you deserved it (3314)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42114) - you deserved it (9279)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

#20664518
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47875) - you deserved it (3773)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44815) - you deserved it (4065)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML

#20607010
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53842) - you deserved it (6631)

On 04/20/2013 at 8:02am - love - by How strange - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56723) - you deserved it (10174)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML

#20538059
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37210) - you deserved it (4402)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm - love - by Raiden (man) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML

#20138883
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28413) - you deserved it (5635)

On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

#20134273
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23439) - you deserved it (2278)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States



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