Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LilTiki559

Search for a member

LilTiki559

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1217
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

LilTiki559's page activity

Visits<b>hk1998</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:59am<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:43am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Morgan123883</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 7:40pm<b>Life_is_FML</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:03am<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:41am<b>misslysiak</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:24am<b>izzie321</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 8:35am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:01pm<b>abylenee_</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:04am<b>aaron1503</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:52am<b>AssassinD3</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 4:40pm<b>xxembabexx</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:26pm<b>aubrey_rayne</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 12:36pm<b>uhmmpaola</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 12:04am<b>computer11</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 7:45am

LilTiki559's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of LilTiki559's badges

LilTiki559's favorite FMLs

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

#20874079
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70778) - you deserved it (3963)

On 09/09/2013 at 3:19am - love - by heartbroken - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

#20874035
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48414) - you deserved it (5257)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:15am - intimacy - by merpaderp14 (woman) - Canada

Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML

#20873371
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45542) - you deserved it (3931)

On 09/08/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38808) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44234) - you deserved it (2980)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38415) - you deserved it (3261)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML

#20866110
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37352) - you deserved it (2349)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by D - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

#20844009
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44969) - you deserved it (13869)

On 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58778) - you deserved it (7471)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51556) - you deserved it (11147)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67237) - you deserved it (5801)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58215) - you deserved it (10371)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53269) - you deserved it (8496)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62231) - you deserved it (5407)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: