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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45763) - you deserved it (2382)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31580) - you deserved it (7551)
On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)
Today, I got a letter from my mother-in-law stating that demons made her spread rumors about me all over my hometown before my wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26422) - you deserved it (1821)
On 04/20/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by doomed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29248) - you deserved it (2351)
On 02/06/2011 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15654) - you deserved it (22371)
On 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I learned that standing next to a hobo doesn't make me look better in comparison, but instead just makes me seem like a hobo as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6949) - you deserved it (18768)
On 02/06/2011 at 2:37am - money - by 7rafe7 (man) - United States
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11578) - you deserved it (41206)
On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38034) - you deserved it (4373)
On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24756) - you deserved it (15688) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34369) - you deserved it (6992)
On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23231) - you deserved it (2378)
On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was running late and rushing to a waiting bus. I made it to the doors just as they closed. I knocked desperately, hoping the driver would let me in. He hovered his hand over the button for a few seconds, then flipped me off and drove away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24331) - you deserved it (2547)
On 12/24/2010 at 5:32pm - misc - by hahahano (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my car heater finally died. I deliver pizzas. In Alaska. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35290) - you deserved it (3381)
On 12/17/2010 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I took out my ear cartilage piercing. With my comb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21399) - you deserved it (7178)
On 12/17/2010 at 8:13am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20826) - you deserved it (14968)
On 12/11/2010 at 1:00am - intimacy - by caligirl921 - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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