About Life_is_FML : I mainly enjoy playing video games (mass effect, fallout, Assasins' creed, etc) as well as playing the saxophone.
Life_is_FML's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Life_is_FML's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 2:50pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, at my minimum wage job, we received a half-way decomposed dog found in a lake. It was my job to tear open the bag and try to identify the breed and color. It would've been easier if the body wasn't crawling with maggots. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 10:24pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2016 at 4:03pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML
by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy
Today, my dad sat me and my sister down and give us a "talk". More like an angry irrational rant. He forbade us from being gay, marrying a Muslim or a black person, demanded kids from both of us, and threatened to disown us if we didn't. Where's my free will? FML
by this is impossible / 01/04/2016 at 7:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time when she noticed I only have one testicle. She immediately broke up with me, for she doesn't want her future sons to be gay because they'll only have half of their testosterone. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2015 at 11:46pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
by PheobeBuffay / 12/11/2015 at 1:14pm / Norway (Vestfold) / Love
by not impressed / 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend constantly mentioning pegging and asking me to let her do it, I caved and figured I might as well stand by my "try anything once" rule. Her response? Saying she knew I was gay all along and dumping me. The fuck? FML
by no I've never asked for anal / 09/20/2015 at 9:44am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 7:28am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/28/2015 at 3:21am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML
by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 3:02pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…