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Life_is_FML

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Life_is_FML

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 February 2000 (14 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2006
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 54 posted

About Life_is_FML : Hello there. I enjoy laughing at other people's troubles- it makes my mine always seem better. I consider myself not an asshole most of the time, so I got that going for me.

Life_is_FML's page activity

Visits<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 8:28am<b>ODST_Panda</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 7:28pm<b>Koth</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 8:02am<b>umerin</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:56pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 6:19pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:20am<b>danthehuman</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:02pm<b>justin1205</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 3:35pm<b>Paco_el_Taco</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:43am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 9:14am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:53am<b>Journiexo</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:57pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:48pm<b>patd77</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:19pm<b>awesomecrazyboy</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:12am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:09pm<b>JandTaco</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:44pm<b>PotatoPal</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 10:13am

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Life_is_FML's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML

#21317298
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31697) - you deserved it (3478)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by dating a moron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

#21317143
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32682) - you deserved it (4188)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

#21316716
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30558) - you deserved it (2438)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38067) - you deserved it (2227)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33533) - you deserved it (3692)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32374) - you deserved it (8980)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35396) - you deserved it (8572)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that the girl on Facebook that helped me out of my sadness after my break-up and who I'd hopelessly fallen in love with was just a prank by my ex-girlfriend. FML

#21288808
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34448) - you deserved it (3692)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:25am - love - by facebookdeception - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27681) - you deserved it (11582)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32603) - you deserved it (4554)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

#21285821
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35741) - you deserved it (3956)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm - love - by mellielynnemily - United States

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

#21285546
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33283) - you deserved it (4526)

On 10/26/2014 at 9:54am - kids - by Bob H. (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

#21285126
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34655) - you deserved it (7755)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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