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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24865) - you deserved it (4937)
On 10/21/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by Rayvyn (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33965) - you deserved it (5750)
On 07/02/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, my wife tried to catch the bouquet at my sister's wedding. Afterward I informed her that only single women were supposed to do that, and she replied "I know". My wife told me that she was divorcing me at my sister's wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42666) - you deserved it (1440)
On 07/01/2009 at 8:58pm - love - by dwaggle (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92971) - you deserved it (5798)
On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88856) - you deserved it (52484)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91238) - you deserved it (4847)
On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70742) - you deserved it (14823)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother in law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother in law to be." And then I saw her name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56851) - you deserved it (1930)
On 06/04/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6477) - you deserved it (113922)
On 06/04/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Unluggee (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15541) - you deserved it (56916)
On 04/01/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by whatashame (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my girlfriend I needed someone to talk to because I just found out my aunt has cancer. She told me to talk to her in an hour, Spongebob was on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49364) - you deserved it (3560)
On 03/31/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my girl handcuffed me to the bed. I willingly let her thinking we were about to have some fun. She then took my phone and read a sent message; 'Wanna hook up?' to my ex. She left me cuffed and blindfolded, and painted my nails before she left. The sent message was from before I met her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60937) - you deserved it (42215)
On 03/24/2009 at 4:46am - intimacy - by littleman (man) - Hong Kong
Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78835) - you deserved it (22627)
On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (273315) - you deserved it (59270)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (334525) - you deserved it (19460)
On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)
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