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LifeExpert_1

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LifeExpert_1
  • Town/Country : Fuck You, 'Murica
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 August 1999 (14 years)
  • Number of visits : 101
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About LifeExpert_1 : Fuck you

LifeExpert_1's last visitors

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LifeExpert_1's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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LifeExpert_1's favorite FMLs

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43093) - you deserved it (4322)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML

#20963219
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41600) - you deserved it (2262)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:00am - health - by seizuregirl17 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63452) - you deserved it (2634)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66176) - you deserved it (3395)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48159) - you deserved it (5859)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

#20888582
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42230) - you deserved it (8780)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my English teacher handed back my creative story assignment with a 74% on it. Apparently, she docked 10% because I had an unrealistic, overly dramatic plot line. That plot line was based on my life. FML

#20887417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40135) - you deserved it (3273)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Sua - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked a friend to hang out. I'm so used to people saying no, that when she said yes I burst into tears and had a panic attack. FML

#20880509
116 comments

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three years before we even met. FML

#20878703
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60736) - you deserved it (6355)

On 09/12/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by Crazy Crazy Crazy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

#20874079
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68706) - you deserved it (3787)

On 09/09/2013 at 3:19am - love - by heartbroken - United States (California)

Today, my former high school bully became my manager. FML

#20871927
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56381) - you deserved it (2993)

On 09/07/2013 at 7:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
507 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17110) - you deserved it (123265)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

#20861465
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39464) - you deserved it (3242)

On 08/31/2013 at 8:14am - health - by faulty plumbimg! (woman) - India

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55672) - you deserved it (6216)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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