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About Lichinamo : The reason I have so many FML submissions is because every time a friend gets screwed over I put it up here. I have a lot of friends with problems.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML
Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML
Today, when my roommate asked me what was wrong, I told him that something I ate was making me feel sick. He works 10+ hours a day, and I didn't have the heart to tell him that the putrid smell of his feet was making me nauseous. FML
Today, I dragged my grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak for New Year's day. I left my spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrapped steak on the grill. I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough for my cat to open the wrapper and run off with my steak in his jaws. FML
Today, I gave feedback on how the store is run at the owners' request, because they don't understand why everyone keeps quitting. I guess they took it personally, because they asked me not to come back. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML
Today, I went on a first date, only for us to find the restaurant wasn't open on New Year's Day. My date suggested going to the mall instead. We drove in our own cars. Me: the mall, him: home. I waited for 40 minutes before realising he'd stood me up. Happy New Year to me. FML
Today, I went on a road trip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML
Friday 27 February 2015