About Lichinamo : The reason I have so many FML submissions is because every time a friend gets screwed over I put it up here. I have a lot of friends with problems.
Lichinamo's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Lichinamo's favorite FMLs
Today, I was fired for "blatant, inexcusable racism". My boss had asked me which website background I preferred for our company, and I said that white backgrounds are usually best. He thinks that I believe in white supremacy, and that's bad for the company's image. FML
by Jem / 01/10/2015 at 10:02pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work
Today, I was in the car with my 4-year-old sister and our puppy. Suddenly, she blurted out from the backseat, "I don't love you anymore." Shocked, I asked her to repeat herself. She looked me straight in the eye and said, "The puppy doesn't love you either." FML
by SadSister:( / 01/10/2015 at 7:15pm / United States / Kids
Today, I psyched myself up and headed out to a really promising job interview. I was sure I was going to nail it and get my first job. That is, until a bird shat on my head on my way there. Thank you so very much, universe. FML
by sadlrana121 / 01/10/2015 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
Today, I went to the supermarket with my husband and kids. A crazy old man started yelling at us and challenged us to fight him outside. Security had to escort us to our car. Why was he so mad? Our cart momentarily blocked his path to the beef jerky samples. FML
by gotta_respond / 01/10/2015 at 2:22pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by sisterlylove / 01/10/2015 at 2:02pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by bensim64 / 01/10/2015 at 11:35am / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Money
by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 8:45am / United States / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were going to sext before going to sleep. It was very late, but I said I'd stay up for him. He sent a text asking me if I was ready. Me replying "yes" was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep on my horny boyfriend. FML
by anon / 01/09/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by good2know / 01/09/2015 at 6:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML
by Anonymous / 01/09/2015 at 4:17pm / United States (New Mexico) / Work
Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML
by Anonymous / 01/09/2015 at 3:16pm / United States / Health
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
by je suis christy / 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/09/2015 at 11:30am / United States (Missouri) / Work
- Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me.… Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple blocks from the bar to my… Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead.…