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Liche

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Liche
  • Town/Country : Haarlem, The Netherlands
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 January 1992 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 881
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Liche's favorite FMLs

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43616) - you deserved it (13066)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

#15583575
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23477) - you deserved it (30333)

On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27138) - you deserved it (5076)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friends sat me down and said they were concerned I was self-harming. I don't self-harm, I'm just a massive klutz. They don't believe me, and want me to get professional help. And now, because I found it all so funny, they think I'm mentally unhinged. FML

#15560826
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25115) - you deserved it (3901)

On 03/30/2011 at 1:28pm - misc - by Alisha (woman) - United Kingdom (Stirling)

Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML

#15514650
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26836) - you deserved it (2844)

On 03/27/2011 at 1:55pm - health - by hellosir - United States

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43127) - you deserved it (7045)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42535) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

#15470057
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37953) - you deserved it (3126)

On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31359) - you deserved it (5398)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

#15203420
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23163) - you deserved it (9382)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35978) - you deserved it (22602)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (7384)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

#14770555
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8728) - you deserved it (52100)

On 01/30/2011 at 4:24am - misc - by terrible kenny - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

#14587697
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26771) - you deserved it (2654)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

#14180759
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32142) - you deserved it (3896)

On 12/12/2010 at 4:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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