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Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7314) - you deserved it (2310)
On 01/19/2012 at 3:19pm - health - by ohforcheese - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31636) - you deserved it (7215)
On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my front house window was smashed. A note was left, saying 'I want my cat back'. I have no idea what they are talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6963) - you deserved it (573)
On 01/15/2012 at 11:17pm - misc - by James - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18694) - you deserved it (2252) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until after my back seat was filled with foam and I had been squirted in the face that I realized my back seat window was rolled down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5276) - you deserved it (21247)
On 01/15/2012 at 4:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43079) - you deserved it (4461)
On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)
Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22623) - you deserved it (7623) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24616) - you deserved it (3233)
On 07/22/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Roode (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (5202)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by gntfmlingnow - United States (Ohio)
Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32645) - you deserved it (2171)
On 07/19/2011 at 3:40am - intimacy - by ken - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend wanted me to meet the girl he has been cheating on me with. He thinks it makes the cheating more understandable if I see how 'hot' she is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50084) - you deserved it (4086)
On 07/18/2011 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (5316)
On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45901) - you deserved it (3083)
On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54683) - you deserved it (2582)
On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12744) - you deserved it (29710)
On 05/28/2011 at 1:27am - money - by greenhide8 - United States (North Dakota)
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