Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Lheart

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

Lheart

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6544
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Lheart's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 1:47am<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 3:28pm<b>Hapotm</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 2:53am<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 4:15am<b>jazmin22</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 8:57pm<b>Dopekisses20</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:32pm<b>dragonkisses28</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:57pm<b>ThisChickcx</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:13am<b>tesslaar</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:59pm<b>krystenk93</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 2:01am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 4:45pm<b>jarrettd</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 6:52pm<b>jaycee1209</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 11:34pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 7:23pm<b>baba01</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 5:38pm<b>dont_doubt_me</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 8:11pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 6:41am<b>19rms97</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 10:22pm

Lheart's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Lheart's badges

Lheart's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33590) - you deserved it (4608)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

#21245163
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33187) - you deserved it (2613)

On 08/25/2014 at 4:14pm - misc - by fanaticalfuckspawn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34786) - you deserved it (13012)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21245038
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37568) - you deserved it (3669)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:17pm - health - by sharkgirl4 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42438) - you deserved it (7394)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38940) - you deserved it (2948)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40132) - you deserved it (5318)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40898) - you deserved it (5670)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34863) - you deserved it (5593)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41828) - you deserved it (13565)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML

Today, my car got towed. My money is in my car and they won't let me open my car to get money until my car is "released". FML

#21238660
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38479) - you deserved it (4429)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:30am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37752) - you deserved it (5975)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

#21233221
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42555) - you deserved it (3774)

On 08/09/2014 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: