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Lexy0560

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Lexy0560

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  • Number of visits : 113
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Lexy0560's page activity

Visits<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:35am<b>metheonlyb</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:40am

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Lexy0560's favorite FMLs

Today, my wooden floor gave me a splinter on the bottom of my foot. I don't have the flexibility nor the eyesight to find it. FML

#21208684
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36533) - you deserved it (6214)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40101) - you deserved it (16697)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

#21192500
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40445) - you deserved it (8135)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

#21192088
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47966) - you deserved it (3503)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42145) - you deserved it (5613)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, after having asked me out on Monday, the guy I like angrily cancelled our date because I "hadn't bothered" even talking to him for "several days". One day. You didn't hear from me on Monday. It's now Tuesday. That's one day, dick. FML

#21169704
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45864) - you deserved it (6151)

On 06/10/2014 at 2:29pm - love - by fartbucket51995129565 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46850) - you deserved it (4941)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at work I had to explain to a client that male dogs can wear red collars and it doesn't make them "gay". The client then got angry and stormed out of the store, causing me to get written up. FML

#21153154
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41978) - you deserved it (4391)

On 05/27/2014 at 7:15am - animals - by Holyguacamoly (woman) - Iceland

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45827) - you deserved it (5299)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I accidentally ripped out my boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML

#21148769
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46581) - you deserved it (14422)

On 05/22/2014 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

#21143801
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49658) - you deserved it (3885)

On 05/18/2014 at 10:14am - misc - by lemongrab (woman) - Canada

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37287) - you deserved it (8687)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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