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Lexy0560

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 10:47pm) | Search for a member

Lexy0560

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  • Number of visits : 475
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Lexy0560's page activity

Visits<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:35am<b>metheonlyb</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:40am

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Lexy0560's favorite FMLs

Today, my wooden floor gave me a splinter on the bottom of my foot. I don't have the flexibility nor the eyesight to find it. FML

#21208684
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36698) - you deserved it (6235)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today..!! I found a wasp in mah kitchen..!! so I opend the back door and left the room 4 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away!! Upon returning..!! I found that there were now three wasps..!! a vicious cat and a very panickd pigeon crashing around the room!! FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41691) - you deserved it (17467)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

today less tan a week after ranting to ma usband about ow sick some people are to sexualize caracter from kids' TV sows, I lookd troug is browser istory and found out e's very muc into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

#21192500
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40633) - you deserved it (8162)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

I had to go pick up mah kid, cuz he threw uphile playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out 4 not keeping mah son at homehile he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

#21192088
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49977) - you deserved it (3681)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

TODAY,HILE IN THE YARD, MAH 18-MONTH-OLD SON DECIDED TO TAKE OFF RUNNING INTO THE ROAD,HERE A CAR WAS DRIVING. I RUSHED AFTER HIM, ONLY 4 ONE OF MAH DRESS STRAP TO SUDDENLY BREAK WITHOUT WARNING. IT MUST HAVE LOOKED LIKE I WAS TRYING TO FLAG DOWN THE DRIVER WITH MAH FLAILING TIT. FML

#21183414
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42292) - you deserved it (5634)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today... while working in a call center at a university... someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept there daughter who had a looool 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions... I just answer calls. FML

Today, after having asked me out on Monday, the guy I lyk angrily cancelled our date cuz I "hadn't bothered" even talking to him for "several days" . One day . You didn't hear from me on Monday . It's now Tuesday . That's one day, dick . FML

#21169704
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47747) - you deserved it (6387)

On 06/10/2014 at 2:29pm - love - by fartbucket51995129565 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I Clogged My Girlfriend's Toilet, So Bieng A Gentleman, I Tried To Rectify Te Situation. I Plunged Te Oly Fuck Out Of Tat Damned Toilet, Only Fir Er To Accuse Me Of Jacking Off Cuz I Was Taking So Long. Wen Se Stormed In An Te Smell It Er, Se Called Me A Pig. I Just Can't Win. FML

#21159437
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48082) - you deserved it (5074)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today , at work I had to explain to a client that male dogs can wear red collars and it doesn't make them ( gay ). The client then got angry and stormed out of the store , causing me to get written up. mega FML

#21153154
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43352) - you deserved it (4533)

On 05/27/2014 at 7:15am - animals - by Holyguacamoly (woman) - Iceland

Today, mah friend announcd that she'd lost wieght recently. As I was congratulating her, mah baby sister said, ( I think you're still fat but that's good cuz you can give more meat to Godhen you go to heaven. ) Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46043) - you deserved it (5319)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today , I accidentally ripped out mah boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML

#21148769
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48599) - you deserved it (15245)

On 05/22/2014 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today I took ma son to lunc. After we ate te waitress cummd over and told me tat ma son was te most well-beavd cild tey ad ever ad tere. His response was to pull is pants down and moon te entire restaurant wile smacking is bottom. FML

Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

#21143801
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49808) - you deserved it (3895)

On 05/18/2014 at 10:14am - misc - by lemongrab (woman) - Canada

Today , I actually uttered the words: "Those are mah good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37397) - you deserved it (8708)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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