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LeviC's favorite FMLs
Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML
by yeah okay then / 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML
by em from Cali / 07/28/2012 at 4:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML
by beleria / 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Utah) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Animals
Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML
by ouchmytits / 03/28/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Mississippi) / Health
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy
by grossedout / 12/08/2010 at 9:26pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I saw a man on the bus with the strangest band shirt I have ever seen. I could not help but stare at it and try and figure what the band was, until he turned to me and said "why not take a picture asshole?" then got off the bus. As he walked away I saw that he was missing an arm. FML
by theholt / 03/01/2010 at 12:23am / United States (Oregon) / Transportation
Today, a foreigner walked into my restaurant to pick up his pizzas. The bill was $25 and he gave me $30 and a 100 dollar bill. I gave him his change from the 30 and I didn't understand so I gave him back the 100 dollars. He said "Well if you dont want it, okay." He was gonna tip me $100. FML
by Lizzzyygurl / 09/02/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (Florida) / Money
by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML
by grem / 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm / United States / Kids
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…