About Lesser : I love the FML website and have been a regular visitor since 2010. I enjoy reading the profile pages and one of the things I would like to know is what the FML's they submitted and were not accepted were. So for your reading pleasure, this is my FML that I submitted and was denied.
Today, I was listening to some music with my husband. I asked him if he knew what 'a cappella' meant. He thought for a moment and said "Singing with horses?" FML
So there you go. I didn't really expect it to go through, but I thought I would give it a try. And then maybe some people think 'a cappella' means singing with horses as well :)
Feel free to message me if you like, I would love to hear from you. As you can see, I also love playing Draw Something. If you would like to play with me, message me.
Have a wonderful day.
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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
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Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40335) - you deserved it (1581)
On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25482) - you deserved it (4488) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, the cute guy in my class asked if I wanted to come over to his house to "study" on Saturday for our finals. I went to his house expecting a good time. He actually wanted to study. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9063) - you deserved it (35391)
On 12/17/2011 at 8:30am - love - by SuperCoolGurl (woman) - Australia
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34078) - you deserved it (11974)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27750) - you deserved it (4475)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24153) - you deserved it (16841)
On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28304) - you deserved it (1746)
On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9626) - you deserved it (56879)
On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)
Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14654) - you deserved it (30675)
On 09/09/2011 at 12:04am - money - by Not_you17 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6142) - you deserved it (44176)
On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41331) - you deserved it (5083)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my child-hating friend who vowed never to have any no matter what, announced that she's pregnant. I've had three IVF cycles, spent $90k in fertility treatments, and still can't conceive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39878) - you deserved it (3735)
On 09/02/2011 at 6:02pm - kids - by anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9922) - you deserved it (46437)
On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36282) - you deserved it (10746)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21865) - you deserved it (24647)
On 07/31/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by iannie - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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