About Lesser : I love the FML website and have been a regular visitor since 2010. I enjoy reading the profile pages and one of the things I would like to know is what the FML's they submitted and were not accepted were. So for your reading pleasure, this is my FML that I submitted and was denied.
Today, I was listening to some music with my husband. I asked him if he knew what 'a cappella' meant. He thought for a moment and said "Singing with horses?" FML
So there you go. I didn't really expect it to go through, but I thought I would give it a try. And then maybe some people think 'a cappella' means singing with horses as well :)
Feel free to message me if you like, I would love to hear from you. As you can see, I also love playing Draw Something. If you would like to play with me, message me.
Have a wonderful day.
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Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24128) - you deserved it (1447)
On 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm - love - by jack - United States (Illinois)
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26015) - you deserved it (4198)
On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States
Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20617) - you deserved it (4575)
On 10/08/2012 at 5:12am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22359) - you deserved it (3167)
On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21057) - you deserved it (4558)
On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25132) - you deserved it (1415)
On 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18622) - you deserved it (1270)
On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14648) - you deserved it (2448)
On 09/28/2012 at 2:09am - love - by unhappy wifey (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22815) - you deserved it (2469)
On 09/19/2012 at 4:22pm - love - by Shame (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5716) - you deserved it (26821)
On 09/19/2012 at 5:27am - love - by pussyface96 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17487) - you deserved it (2875)
On 09/18/2012 at 4:07pm - love - by emselin - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, after having lost 11 pounds following my pregnancy, I felt sexy and put on a cute outfit for my husband. When he walked into the bedroom, he ended up passing me three times, and then went to bed without a word. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17502) - you deserved it (1608)
Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20846) - you deserved it (1295)
On 09/17/2012 at 6:46am - work - by Grindwhore - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16939) - you deserved it (4047)
On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5529) - you deserved it (13459)
On 09/12/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by brianfantana32 - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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