Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About Lesser : Thank you for stoping by my page. While you here, go ahead and press that like button, you know you want to see it say Meow in French! Its nice to know when someone has taken the time to look at my profile
Feel free to message me if you like, I would love to hear from you.
For your viewing pleasure, I have added my favourite picture of my sisters cat. She (my sister, not the cat, he is a boy anyway) is a professional family photographer. This sweet cat was found wandering around a neighbourhood and was on kitty death row before my sister took him in. The mouse is my nephews birthday present. Something extra special about the cat! He only has 3 legs!
Have a wonderful day.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!
How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?
Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML
Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML
Today, I've now worked on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, the weekend after that, and two days this week. My husband and son have had all that time off, and yet I've still ended up having to clean the dishes and the house after them on all of these days. FML
Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML
Tuesday 3 March 2015